Your lover is all that I want to be C G Amin7 You could bite me And I would bite back I’d be on that shit like a wild bear attack You could shoot me and I’d even play dead And love you absolutely from my 6 foot bed For you I’d be chaste and faithful Even if there no sex I’d wait centuries for you Or for millennia, give you head F You could lie back G And watch as civilizations crumble with F My head between your legs, G Amin7 Occasionally, I’d emit a mumble Other guys may balk at your neurotic obsessions You scare away the flock when you pawn their possessions But I’m addicted to your talk and those facial expressions And the fucked up way, you hand out affection I will go on loving you Till the moon falls down and the sun turns blue I will love you even when America crumbles and the insects rise again I will love you until I run out of whiskey and you run out of pills I will love you despite The way that you treat me, every single night I will love you because I’m fucked up from childhood and crave cruel love And I will love you because you see, your lover is all that I want to be And if it suits you If you feel like it If it’s convenient If it’s fashionable If your friends approve and if i match your shoes And if you feel like it You could love me?

Dancing in the Street F You won’t find my body hanging in a tree G You won’t find me sobbing writing forlorn poetry C You won’t find me crying in the field by the slough Ddim G7 C I’ll be dancing in the street. Ddim Ddim C Happy that our love is through I’m so glad our love is dead It was suffocating me I couldn’t take the pressure trying To live up to your needs So I’ve been playing pooh sticks And taking naps in the sun Offering toasts to strangers and Hugging everyone I’m so glad our love has expired Its conditions and exemptions were breaking my will I walked down college road Walked past creamers field And saw the geese and the swans eating bugs and said Hey geese! Just like you, I am free! When you fly home for the winter, won’t you please? Won’t you please take me?

A carnies life is a tough life Remember that time you went berserk? It was a disaster that day at the circus You insist your innocent you insist you didn’t start it But the knife throwing man has made you his target And the chameleon man Is giving you bug eyes And the manager is smoking cigars telling lies At the snack stand they ran out of sweet potato fries But they got plenty of banana cream pies and they all have your name on them And the strong man wants you dead And the trapeze act wants to drop you on your head Don’t forget the words the bearded lady said Someone has it in for you!!
and around here they all stick together like glue If you do indeed take me to be a guru Get out while you can if you know what’s good for you Cuz the man with the removable eye has his eye on you And the magician trained his rabbit and doves to spy on you The clowns are making a racket that would anger Zeuss But would probably put a smile on the face of Doctor Seuss The elephants hearing couldn’t improve The spotlight’s on you Its time to make your move Lets see you try it, lets see you prove it But you can’t juggle And you’re wearing the completely wrong pants and Its been years and years since ballet class You forgot how to sing, You forgot how to sing But the beautiful ladies can And even the monkey can prance I never volunteered it is all happenstance I spent too many years in the office My over working was my greatest fault Why wasn’t I rolling in the grass Practicing my somersaults

On a Monday I’m a wreck Cuz my baby don’t care for me anymore than a speck On Tuesday its cold outside My baby said no, she wouldn’t be my bride On a Wednesday its pouring buckets I asked my baby to dinner and she said fuck it On a Thursday I’m a mess She don’t love me no more she confessed On a Friday the sun done set. She said Isaac you ain’t the best I can get On a Saturday my heart done break She took my ring and she threw it in the lake On a Sunday I’ll say goodnight I got a date with the gas oven tonight

I can learn a lot from the way she walks, when she walks away. Cuz when my baby and I talk we don’t mean exactly what we say. Get back in the cave baby And get ready for when I come home Back from slaying mammoths Don’t give me reverse psychology I’m too dumb for it to work on me And playing hard to get is for Rich and the lonely butterflies Once I knew a guy who never cheated on his wife But he was dead at 25 Once I knew a saint, but he was taking bribes. My uncle bought a sports car, and never once checked the oil Its kinda like falling in love And slowly letting it spoil evolutionary psychology makes us out to be selfish opportunists as if real life is a satire by a burlesque cartoonist I heard that a butterfly is crippled forever If your finger oils get on his wings And if you make love to an insecure girl She might never talk to you again I heard that a butterfly is crippled forever If your finger oils get on his wings And if you make love to an insecure boy he might never talk to you again

My groceries froze in the back of my car I tried to hitchhike to anchor-town didn’t get too far And that theatre chick bitch wont return my calls If I don’t get some release I’m going to kick down some walls I got cabin fever and a nasty case of blue balls I don’t have scarlet fever oh no And I don’t have typhoid fever oh no I got cabin fever girl and you will be my cure So her advances turned out to be imagined in my head I guess I don’t know proper threesome etiquette I got cabin fever, hand me a moist towlette. Well I will forgive your anhedonia If you’ll pardon my saliromania Ive got, cabin fever and schadenfreude I don’t have mambo fever that’s fo sure And I don’t have disco fever that’s fo sure! I got cabin fever, be my thermometer I don’t have banana fever that’s for sure I don’t have peach strawberry, nectarine plum watermelon, orange , apple, starfruit fever I have cabin fever, be my food processor.

Leave Me Alone D Leave me alone, Bmin Won’t you leave me alone? G F# There is nothing but disdain for you in my heart Leave me alone, Please leave me alone I detest you, I deplore you I demand you depart G Please go away F# Before you wake father D You know we’re just throwing your letters away F# He won’t let you marry me so why do you bother? I’m also getting tired of the pebbles at my window Why won’t you just let me sleep I don’t think that you are a hopeless romantic I just think you are a creep. Please go away Before you wake my husband He knows that it’s you whose been making those phone calls I should tell you he throws out the flowers you send And I turn off the radio when you dedicate me songs I don’t think that it’s a sweet gesture I just think your stubborn and wrong Please go away. Before you wake the warden I’m not allowed visitors since they caught you last time Quit sending implements to use for escape They are getting me in hot water Quit sending cigarettes to barter with inmates They’re jealous and just beat me harder Leave me alone Wont you leave me alone? There is nothing but disdain for you in my heart Leave me alone, Please leave me alone I detest you, I deplore you I demand you depart Why did he go away?

The ballad of Maggie Mcgris When I’ve had his many drinks my boys My mind always turns to the lost memories Of my home town and the first girl I kissed A bonnie wee lass name of Maggie McGris She liked to take off her clothes You just can’t stay mad at a woman like that When she wore them, she wore charming clothes But with assets like those.. She enjoyed modeling and strutting her stuff, that’s a fact many can attest But those would agree when the clothes were let free, that’s when her stuff looked its best But she’s saving herself for me, I’d say Shes saving herself for me For whan I return from my trip off at sea She’s saving that special gift, I’d say For her true love that sat with her under the aspen. Talkin and dreamin and courtin and laughin. Now a lass looks like that just cheers everyone up The men of the town would all ogle like pups She was determined, to rise bove the vermin She needed to raise some cash that was clar And of certain aspects she’d plenty to share. She’d pose for the artists on vickerman street She’d pose for the cameraman from up north a beet She posed for the tourists when they’d come to town All dolled op and show’n the things off they bought Waving her arms like she’s putting out a house fire I seen um wave arms but I ain’t seen it finer! She made out with lit students from oer the valley She made out with barhops, for whip its and valium She made out with lawyers whose pockets dripped money She made out with sailors whose clothing smelled funny But she’s saving herself for me, I’d say She’s saving herself for me For whan I return from my trip off at sea She’s saving that special gift, I’d say For her true love that holds a lock of her hair. She began stripping naked in seedy cafes Where the patrons all wore moustaches and berets She shacked up with a pimp in from pacedena She’s taken up dealing a substance the kids call tina I never minded the things that she did For our plan since we were kids Was to save that money up for a farmhouse home And raise little model/stripper/drug dealers of our own She sold drugs to gangsters who wore fancy shoes She sold drugs to musicians who drank bootleg booze She sold drugs to surfers in from the west coast She sold drugs to right wing radio show hosts Sometimes I’d wonder if shed ever falter If her determination ever wandered But I’d quickly banish such thoughts from my mind With a glance at her lock of hair so fine But she’s saving herself for me. She said. She’s saving herself for me For whan I return from my trip off at sea She’s saving that special gift, she said For her true love that remembers the way she smiled when she was but a little gurl. I donna know what has happened to her since Of the money she earned I’ve never received a pence But I’ve still got a drawing I made once of her And I’ve still got this lock of her hair

My lover is serving hard time They say he killed a woman named Ruth What was he doing at her house that night? I don’t want to know… know the truth I’m going to bust my lover out tonight I stole my uncle's gun from the drawer We will run by moonlight To my hideout in… the moor And if someone has to die So that we can get away I pray his soul will swiftly go And leave us to our sinning ways I cant bear to think of him Locked up alone in there They say he killed a woman Maybe he did, but I don’t care Some folks think he’s a monster So he’s not welcome in town It’s true he has his moments, But I know how to calm him down And if someone has to die Cuz he saw us kill that other guy I pray to the lord his soul will go And continue being a security guard, somewhere in the sky Leave us alone You angry ghost We are sorry you were in the wrong place You know it wasn’t personal. You just got in the way.

Unique like the lilting shuffle of the bereaved It takes a certain kind of binoculars To see it as naïve A smile that wide is good for business You can discontinue any time you like I’m not finished The ghosts are complaining louder than usual There’s no water from the tap The hired help won’t get here until Tuesday So you’ll just have to go around back Here’s a couple dollars in my pocket, Might as well let them go Could pick up a couple comics But I’m an adult now, should be responsible There’s a creaking in the rafters This old schoolhouse is falling apart They are coming by raft, they are coming by sea! There’s one now! Look at his fancy shirt Who the hell are you? And who taught you how to lie?

G7 C Pour yourself a drink, mister G7 C I like the way you think, sister F I don't want to brag D E But when you realize you’d be better off with me C You’ll be a clever clever man Relax... Lets chew the fat Sit down awhile and chat, I don’t want to Brag But when you're my lover you're a lucky lucky man Fellini! Have a martini Is that a pistol in your pocket? Or you just glad to see me I don't want to sound coy But with your hair messed up you are a charming charming boy I’m your muse I’m your tease I’m your pretty pretty please I’m your plan, I’m your ploy I’m your dainty little toy I’m your ruse, I’m your doll Do whatever at all you Want with me YOU WANT ME. You just don't know it yet G7 C I’ve been thinking brother G7 C And I’ve been drinking. Another. G7 C Your time would be better spent writing me arias G7 C I inspire the greatest poetry F And I don't want to sound overconfident D E But your song will be magnificent if you’d sing it to C me Am I cursed to warm this barstool all night While you get turned down by every girl in sight You wander pathetically I wonder slightly earnestly But how long will it take Before you notice me? Why the long frown Did some girl turn your aquarium upside down? Your floppin on the floor like a fish You want me to save you, HA You wish You turned the other way excessively You shouldn't have chosen her over me I don't want to brag But since you lost me you've been a sorry sorry man

Two boys in the street Names Peter and Steve A drifter who paused and coughed Ran out in the street for to retrieve a parcel of something he dropped They followed him for a stretch of two blocks Shouting Hey mister! Here’s something you missed!
startled to find he’d been trampled by an ox Pulling a tractor who’s driver was tight. Fleeing the scene they past a latrine, A potted cactus and a hawk They found in their boon A needle and spoon But mostly a substance of chalk. An aged troubadour head teeming with lice Was quick to hand out sage seeming advice “Do not partake, That stuff is vile The tears of a crocodile Will have more legitimacy than you When with that white powder you are through. That substance will endlessly distract You from your commonplace books and studies And serve to further detract you from your lover and her buddies.” He wandered away with a stench of decay Said Steve “his advice was certainly grim. And it was so specific, I think its implicit That those events happened to him!” One boy listened to the old man’s words, He refrained from snorting the powder Around the world, throngs of young girls shout:
“Louder peter louder!” The other enjoyed it quite a bit and found that within the week when his supplies were running low, his constitution and poise were weak. His addiction compounded until he had stolen Six tea sets and an old moppet His parents, investors were disgraced to hear he had sold them at such a low profit. Though peter continued to riches and fame, His success it never subsided… Morticians were baffled and stumped for a name When his brother and a taxi collided. fin

peace and love and royalty checks and abandoning your children drinking and drugs and alimony payments and kicking your friends in the head if you are going to do drugs, you should do them when you are a child adults are too depressed and jaded to just let go and be wild anxiety will ruin your good time when your a grown up with a closed lid so don't do drugs don't do drugs but if you are going to do drugs anyway you should do them when you are a kid before my friends were ever sneaking beers or buying weed I was researching drugs at the public library I didn't have any connections and I didn't know what drugs looked like but I knew I wanted to try them I didn't know what they did but only that they were somehow involved in making music and I wanted so badly to be involved in making music so I am a perfect example of why a conservative might wish to censor public libraries as Plato said “we should keep our kids from reading myths for they may commit the crimes our old heroes did and then expect to be treated as kings- “ but the point is that I was curious about my favorite musical group I they were called the Beatles and perhaps you've heard of them wondered was there anything interesting that they did in their lives that could explain the strange and beautiful music they made and was there anything that I could do to be at least a small bit like them? I read that a man named Bob Dylan turned them on to grass and then they recorded Rubber Soul, they even smoked week one day before meeting the queen! And a man who was a dentist turned them on to LSD without their knowledge he just thought it would be fun to give the Beatles LSD and so gave it to three of them and George wrote Dr. Robert. The paradoxical thing is that though thousands probably tried drugs not just as the Beatle's did but expressly because - John Lennon urged his fans to not do drugs just because he do them, be your own person he said and do drugs or don't do drugs, but don't do them because the Beatles do them. he wrote tomorrow never knows about the experience of being on LSD with lyrics lifted from the Tibetan book of the dead as Timothy Leary endorsed the youth to turn on tune in and drop out if your idols did drugs and made art and died resist the temptation to imitate your idols make art yes make art and live

C Cmaj7 C7 Sleep tight gentle souls, sleep tight Amin7 F You do not suspect, you cannot suspect Tonight resolution and the norm But revolution in the morn. My manifesto shall not be for naught And the trials I endured shall not be forgot With my only confidant being myself It’s not a conspiracy, if I don’t tell anyone one else. If you are hearing this song you know i died alone but i wont be alone long My actions will inspire others and they will rise up as if they’re my brothers If I am a martyr for my cause My constituents will be able to cope with the loss And rally around my grave After some inspiring words By my former slave I will leave all my riches to him Except the library and the documents in the wings Its not like he could read anyway Plebeians can’t appreciate nice things Tonight, serenity and calm Tonight amenities and soothing balms Tonight repetition and respite Tomorrow restitution and justice My weapons are loaded They will be sorry they gloated Revenge will be mine Vengeance will be sweet When the stars align I can rest my weary feet They forgot about me But this is my fate They underestimated me It will be the last underestimation they make.

I've been doing this music thing for years but still have yet to make money but I've got this kooky business card but the address sure is funny. It calls for an incantation, candles and pentagrams "what kind of business is this?" I think as I sacrifice my lamb suddenly I am in waiting room, uninspired suckers reading ancient periodicals “are we anticipating doom? or what” I ask? laughter methodical I'm finally buzzed in after waiting for eternity a bearded goat-like man sits behind a brimstone desk he shook his head while looking over my portfolio I admit.... it was a mess. "I can se you need my services, monsieur I stand behind my work and it wont cost you an arm or leg he said and handed me the contract then whistled an arcane tune I perused it, genuflected, pretending I could read the runes. “I have a few questions, devil, where's the forked road where's the moon? and I must admit I am nervous about the surgery” he laughed out loud, “we have upgraded, no old fashioned moonlight rendezvous the procedure is painless, there's no need for anxiety first we open up your chest and cut your soul in twain and you shall have fat beats my friend, but not a complete soul again” some desire power, others technique in the sheets me, i sold my soul to learn to program beats. though I couldn't forgive myself for what that dastardly sin I found myself digging in the waste bin I again need to consult my accomplice the beats were satisfying but they wouldn't suffice begrudgingly again, I put the candle on the floor roll my eyes, heave a sigh ,"devil I require more!" I was teleported in a manner defying science we were in a burger joint, he the flipper I the client devil I said quickly, you must think me quite a jerk considering our history to bother you here at work. I do not mind at all, I was expecting you, you know your the type who is hard to please, always expecting more. I love the beats you gave me they are fat , they are tight I try to set lyrics to them and but do not come out right I try to be an ill mc but daren't even speak my poetic muse is shriveled, my verbosity is weak "Back for seconds?" then he laughed his voice it made me tingle "One order sick rhymes coming up!" I added, "Extra pickle!" "This meal will satisfy you, I guarantee it will, but before you leave, there is of course, the issue of my bill. Rhymes like these , they don't come cheap I trust you still possess? half a wilted jilted soul inside your pounding chest?” what have I done what have I done? how could I be so greedy!!!! Didn't I read my Goethe? others request riches to share with their progeny: me I sold my sold to be a witty mc! if it doesn't bring me prestige and doesn't make me rich at least I have a story with to entertain grandkids “did you hear Granpa's story?” “yeah, he is so full of pills if he had sold his soul for beats and rhymes you'd think they would have been ill.”

Its hard to be your lover when your lover is around E7 F at first I was enamored by your mystery Dm Cmaj7 and charmed by the way you took me for granted i adored the way you’d expect me to roll at a moments notice E7 F our current situation is less amiable I've found Dm G7 its hard to be your lover G7 C when your lover is around Does this contradiction seem odd? its not that I don’t enjoy being your whore but you seem to think your taller than god and that’s the facade I abhor I cant be the confidant seducer with whom you fell in love when my sanity is coming unwound its hard to be your lover when your lover is around E7 your going to have to start treating me nicer Am/G (no 5th) if our moon light rendezvous are to continue I've been pining since September Am/G (no 5th) F#dim I'm not just another in your retinue Am/G (no 5th) F#dim I'm no ingenue F Gb7 G7 I can be a tiger too Why must she be in the way? I'm coming to detest this incestuous soirée its novelty is wearing thin, its tacky and drab and i find it cliché why must I be the secret one? This masquerade ball is losing its charm the illusion has faded and i see your flaws and I love them too! I'm nervous every night dreading we will be found you see its hard to be your lover its hard to be your lover when your lover is around.

Dmin Amin Dmin Amin I heard she's a man eater (watch out boy, she’ll chew you up) but what does that really mean? who are we to judge what goes on between 2 consenting adults maybe I'd really like it, if she were to eat me? F Amin no body likes a star fucker F E everybody likes a star F Amin so please don't think that i am a star fucker F F#dim Bb Bb#dim but can i tell you how cool i think you are? it doesn't mean i want to sleep with you although, of course, i do I hear your a selfish narcissist queen but iI was hoping a little bit of your specialness would rub off on me? I drove all the way to Seattle to see your show I drove so far I slept in my car I slept in my clothes I slept alone I heard he's a manslut but does he deserve that reputation? He’s broken up a few marriages, and fucked a chorus line he's become a running gag, he’s become an institution at the mention of his name, furious boyfriends demand retribution I heard she's a nymphomaniac and Bukowski warns that that’s rough maybe she was a nymphomaniac for you but for me, not nearly maniacal enough no body likes a star fucker except for 5 minutes the star then they become repulsed, like everybody else and drive away fast in their fancy car I hear he’s a rock star and leaves illegitimate children all over the country who will grow to have rock star dreams of their own and some may find success like jeff buckley or norah jones? and others will be forever living in their father's shadow, proof of a love affair between a rock star and a commoner Nobody likes a starfucker Everybody likes a star So maybe I am a starfucker But can you blame me for being attracted to the talented and the popular?

Let me tell you a story Of a successful man And the young ruffian who called him dad It doesn’t end the way he had hoped But it doesn’t have to end sad He heard his son would be a great political leader And failing that would be a great religious leader But he wanted him to follow in his footsteps So he tried to influence the future By keeping his son from ever seeing the truth The pain and the suffering of life Kept him locked away in the palace all day Provided him with riches, Provided him with a beautiful wife Thanks a lot dad for putting me in my place Thanks a lot dad, for trying to control my fate Thanks a lot dad for keeping me from pain Hate to break it to you dad, your efforts were in vain Siddhartha went away when he saw a sick man on the stoop He left his wife and he left his little baby To find himself out in the woods His life had been a lie but he was opening his eyes… yeah. Thank you dad for your efforts Thank you for your meat Thank you for your wine Thank you dad, your clinging shows you love me But sorry dad, it was such a waste of time Everywhere he went he saw animals eating each other The world seemed so hopeless and cruel In the cycle of rebirth he saw he was a tiny cog He spent some time with the animals, he spent some time Sitting on a log Prayed for the relief of suffering for all living things That had ever been born That were yet to be born Sorry dad, if I wasn’t what you thought I’d be Sorry dad, but I just gotta be me I hope you see, I forgive you for lying I appreciate you trying